anbao_luu

Anonymous asked: Why are you such a fucking faggot?
You emotional piece of shit.

i don’t know who this is. but i’m sure i know you. you won’t say it to my face. if you do, ima fuck you up.

it’s been a while since i’ve seen or heard from you. the person that mentioned your name was my friend hugo. i guess he saw you walking around north pomona. its been a while since i’ve even mentioned your name and its beginning to make me sad. you were suppose to be my best man, and my best friend. but now, the only thing i have to hold on is the memories you left in my history. i remember my first day at westmont. you were the only person i knew because you use to come into my neighborhood to play ball. those were the days. schooling brandon and my cousins. remember our all-star basketball squad with jo-jo and sergio too? i saw sergio about a year ago. i guess he’s a father now. as for jo-jo, he’s playing football. he’s a baller. 6th grade was probably the best time in my life. it was me, you, sergio, and jeremiah. it was ball during recess, and stealing food during lunch. when brandon died, i was too young to understand what it meant to lose somebody. i’m sorry i didn’t go to the funeral, i had no idea. childhood best friends are the best friends. you were suppose to be in my life forever. i wonder how it would be if we saw one another again. would you recognize me? would we reconnect like the old days? i called you about 6 years ago and your mom had no idea where you were. that’s not cool man. you gotta call me if you stumble across this somehow. you better look for me because i’m going to look for you. brandon and tank is no longer in your life and i’m sorry. take care of yourself. i love you kid. i love you.

I felt like I always knew about the word love. What the feeling is like when you finally meet that one special person. Some people experience it early; some don’t live long enough to experience the feeling at all. When I met you, I knew in my deep conscience that you were my one special person. Learning about you was something that came very natural to me and we were very much in love. Quite frankly, there was not one person in the world who could’ve convinced me to think otherwise. When we broke up, it wasn’t until later down the road did I realize that I might not ever experience a feeling like that again. The feeling of waking up every day and sleeping every night with the one special person in mind still continues its daily trend. As time pasts, people came and went, and so did you. The hardest thing to accept is when people told me, “You’re better than that. You deserve better. You deserve someone who is extraordinary in ways that you can’t imagine.” They were looking after me and my best interest; but when there is something that I want, in which only passion can explain, I find a way to get it. My grandpa once told me, “When you can find that one person in the world who is better than you, you marry her.” It should’ve been you. Now, reality sinks in and I have to learn to accept certain truths, but not this. We will get married. Even if it means that i have to drag you down the aisle. We will make this work because my “could’ve, should’ve, would’ve” mentality just changed to “will.” 

not every letter will be mailed. not every mail will be read. not every sentence will sound the same. not every word will be spoken. 

to my people, anbao_luu

i have a very simple belief that everything happens for a reason. every movement, every sound, every word, every action is then placed into history where it is like dust in the sky. the dust is there, but it can not be seen by the human eye. every one of us is born with a purpose, and whether you are aware or not, your goal in life is to search for that purpose. this has nothing to do with my post today, LOL, its something to think about as you visualize your busy schedule through the power of the brain.

anyways, the post today is about playing and doing your part in the social attraction society. every one of us has been single or in a relationship. or both. three words for you, play on playas. this is just a quick overview, therefore, you’ll want to add to the post because i don’t have time to write it all. and it’ll be boring that way. anyways, people, PLAY YOUR PART!

GUYS IN RELATIONSHIPS: i’m going to say this once, and once only, respect your love. that means, respect the word love and respect your significant other. if you can’t handle that, do yourself and her a favor by breaking it off now. trust me, it will be worse in the long run. you won’t understand it until it comes knocking on your door at 4am with an irritating voice saying, “what the fuck have you done?! i’m pregnant!” learn to appreciate the luxury of having someone in your life to help you make decisions that you just can’t simply make. like what scent to put in your car or what color laundry basket to buy. open the door for her. buy her flowers from time to time. i understand that flowers die, and they can be costly. but didn’t you just get home from eating out? tell her things that makes her smile. things that got you in the relationship in the first place. tell her she’s beautiful daily. not hot. hold her hands. that is the most underrated luxury in a relationship. it is comforting, romantic, and did i mention, cute:]? if she mentions something that she wants, find a way to get it for her. that way, she’ll get you the new Jordans you’ve been waiting for. go to places that make you uncomfortable, she’ll love you even more for being a man and swallowing your pride. stop gazing at other girls. its okay to look because of instincts. it is not okay to visualize her in bed with your girlfriend. last but not least, be silly, be happy, be funny, be a gentleman.  

GIRLS IN RELATIONSHIP: treat your baby’s daddy right. there will be times where you’ll think to yourself, “what on GOD’s green earth is he doing?” everyone make mistakes, but it seems as if guys make them a lot more. agreed? hell naw, its a 50/50 ratio, girls just point them out quicker than guys. stop manipulating the relationship. if he makes a mistake, don’t hold it against him later down the road. if you’re going to punish him, do it then and there, and get it over with. go to his games, i don’t know how else to say it, but guys tend to do better when someone is watching them. there is a part in a man’s brain that detects women around him. its an instinct. he’s just taking a quick peek. he is not cheating on you. don’t lie to yourself, you girls check out guys too. you’re just more sneaky about it. tell him he’s handsome. take him out for a change. he may seem like he’s ballin’, but he’s borrowing money from his homies to pay for your dates. listen to his problems, trust me, he has them. grab his ass. guys like that for some reason;] last but not least, let him be a man by not bossing him around. especially in front of his friends.

part two of his post will be continued later. it’ll be on single girls and guys, and their roles in the social attraction society. thats all for now. i hope you enjoyed it. 

to my people, anbao_luu

to those who read my teenage love post, i want to thank you for taking the time in your busy schedule to take my thoughts and feelings into consideration. i was asked to continue the post, so here i am…

high school romance was simple. crushes turned into blushes. blushes turned into gossip. gossip turned into truths. truths turned into attraction. attraction turned into hugs. hugs turned into kisses. and kisses turned into prom. high school romance was kind of like an unspoken competition between couples. for those who didn’t realize that the competition was going on, answer a few of these questions to yourself. why would you hold your sweetheart’s hand everywhere you went even though everyone knew you two were together? why did you hold her books and opened her doors? why did you bring her flowers? why did you make lunch for her? why did you look so sharp and crispy at dances? one simple answer…to show other people that they belonged to you, and no one else can do what you are willing to do for them. sure, you liked them. enough to do those things. but behind those good deeds is a spirit that says, “thats right. i did it. so what? they’re worth the trouble.” those were the good old days though. waiting for them at the same spot everyday even if it meant that you can get in trouble for going to class late. waiting at the lunch table until they came so you both of you can get food together. writing notes to one another and using other classmates as the postal services by passing the note down. putting an extra pencil, with extra led, with extra erasers, so that they don’t have to go asking someone else. writing their names on just about anything and everything. showing off your text messages of what your significant other wrote about you to your friends. and also, formulating the best plan to ask her to be your date at a dance. something that no one else has done. something that people will always remember. something that can be past on from generation to generation. 

sometimes you would hold their hands harder when other people are around to tell them that you don’t want to let go. sometimes you would purposely be an office aid to get the chance to send a note to her class. or purposely forget to write the homework down to find a reason to talk to them.

high school graduation will be remembered because of hard work and dedication. high school friends will be remembered for all the times spent together. high school work will be later seen as a piece of cake compared to college work. high school sports will be remembered for large crowds and confettis. but high school romance will forever be remembered as “MY FIRST LOVE.”

to my people, anbao_luu

man, i remember those days. you know, teenage love, also know as high school romance. i’m glad i had one of those. to be honest, being as young as i was, i learned a lot from it. my teenage love was beautiful. perfect smile, freckles, athletic, smart. she even had a break on her nose. those were the good days. it was high school, volleyball, and her. it was her, volleyball, and high school. 

“she was the girl of my dreams, and seems, to only date the head of football teams.”

everyone was on her jock. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. i really have no idea what she saw in me. ironically, we had chemistry class together. i mean, we knew each other but it didn’t know each other like that. i had a huuuuuggeee crush on her though. i use to write her name in my books, papers, shit, even my arm. i remember the first time i talked to her on the phone…LOL. i got her phone number from her friend, dialed, when she picked up i panicked. so i was like “ummm…do you know what the homework was?” hahaaa then hung up the phone before i even let her respond. so days went by and i felt like i had to step my game and be a man. so i asked her if she was going to a friends party and she said yeah. i didn’t really think of it as anything cause she had what every single guy didn’t want her to have. yup, boyfriend. big ass buff dude and he was “older.” LOL. but anyways, we met at the party. her friends and my friends just kinda got together in a circle, you know, just conversing. then BAM! i don’t know why and where my ego came from but my cajonas magically grew and i grabbed her hand. without even thinking about the facts: 1, she thinks i’m weird and walks away. 2, awkward moment leading to awkward rest of high school. 3, slap to the face. but she did neither one of them. she grabbed back and then it was history. i’ll continue my teenage love story if i get enough fans who wants to know about it.

to my people, anbao_luu

how can something so wrong make me feel so right? for instance, i have to wake up everyday with the understanding that the girl of my dreams is no longer waking up with me. but even though she broke my heart, i continue to hope that she will be happy whether shes with me or not. if she were to call me and asked for help, i would be there by her side on any given day. if she needed a shoulder to cry on, my shoulder would be ready to shape itself to make her feel comfortable. if she needed anything, i will be willing to give her everything. if i were to call her, she would ignore me because she will have the mentality of “he’s calling to get me back.” or “he’s calling because he wants to annoy me.” what if i really was hurt. and the only phone number i know is 911 and her cell? because to tell you the truth, that’s all i know. now why would i do that? why would i do something for someone who can give a shit about what i’m doing with my life. or in return, hopes that i will be happy. why would i sacrifice everything, just to satisfy hers? i explained to my dear homie, HUGO GONZALES (juiceBOX) that life is about harsh realities and hopes. that we must understand that the girls who we hope to call wifey, does not have the same mentality as us. so what? what if i am only 19? is that too young to understand the mysterious of love. or for a simple fact, feel love? does love come with age, or does love come with luck? i see beautiful girls just about everyday of my life. you take that and add it with my stubborn principles, you get a lonely motherfucker on a saturday night blogging about his life. i don’t feel sorry for myself, i just understand the harsh realities. i understand that i might not marry a model, or a playmate. but my wifey is going to be so beautiful that i will have to call GOD to tell him that one of his angels is with me. but i also understand that the girl of my dreams will no longer be a part of my future. we, those who seeks love, is so blinded by beauty and attraction that we put hope into something that has no ends. it starts with a couple of phone calls. then a couple of dates. then a couple of kisses. but when you mention the word “couple” to them, they are ready to break the arrow shot by cupid. sometimes its not their fault. maybe you rushed it. maybe she really doesn’t want a boyfriend. maybe she just wants to live the single life. BULL SHIT! i refuse to believe that there is a girl out there who wakes up in the morning and tells themselves that they don’t want to be loved. they don’t want anyone to sweep them off their feet. life is about harsh realities and hopes. and until we learn to accept the fact that hope is an allusion, we will continue to fall into the trend of harsh realities. 

during the course of your life, this question will be asked at least once, i promise. “where do you see yourself in 10 years?” it’s a very simple, straight forward question and can be answered in a simple, straight forward manner. my answer is very simple and straight forward, “i have no idea.” if you asked me that directly after high school, my answer would have been something like this. “in 10 years, i see myself in a firefighter uniform, living somewhere that i have never been to with my girlfriend ________ (name no longer needed). it may sound selfish but she wants to be a dentist and i think that we would find a way to find her a job near my fire department. i can see us talking about marriage or expecting our first child. my parents, as well as her parents, will be retiring from their jobs or have retired. i can see myself purchasing a home that i have designed. yes, every square inch of it is in my head. i see myself vacationing with my girlfriend or wife in vietnam, hawaii, europe, and even australia. i see myself being very happy.” that sounded like a great response and the person that asked me the question probably got really jealous of my fantasy. the reason why my answer is now “i have no idea” is because i really have no idea. no one would have thought that we would break up and we did. i thought i was going to the fire academy after high school but now i’m considering joining the air force. i thought i would graduate from cal state fullerton but now i’m at mt. sac. in addition, my parents have no idea that i’m not at fullerton anymore. what i’m trying to say is if you don’t know what you’re going to do or what you want to do in 10 years, it is perfectly fine. you don’t have to have a fantasy but you need to have a goal. my goal is to be happy in 10 years, no matter what i plan on doing with my life. don’t kill yourself if you’re getting frustrated about not knowing what you want. GOD works in mysterious ways and life is simply spontaneous. don’t get frustrated because you’re single and feel like you will never find love. it doesn’t work like that. love will find you when the right time comes. to some people love happens during childhood, to others it’s in the midst of their death. the moral of the story is don’t control something you can’t control, which is life. 

to my people, anbao_luu

how do you mentally prepare for an upcoming death? what would you do if you knew how much time you have left to live? would you spend time with the family or love one? or would you spend your money like a black card? how about charity, would you donate to a charity that would benefit from your contributions? writers and directors often use the “you have this many days left to live” as the plot of their books and movies because it is an interesting topic. there are endless possibilities. I’ve heard about people enjoying their favorite meals everyday until their deaths. I’m only 19 years old, so I have no idea what I would do if I knew that death is hovering over me. there are so many things that I haven’t done. for example; sky diving, bungee jumping, extreme kiyaking, things that can potentially kill someone but the adrenaline and thrill keeps them coming back for more. I want to create a foundation one day. I want to write a song, book, and direct a movie. I want to give my parents everything for all that they have done for me. buy them a nice house, car, take them on vacations, throw a party for them. anything and everything that would make them smile. whoops, I have to go back into church. to be continued… to my people, anbao_luu

before i begin, this is not my quote, i don’t know who it belongs to. i heard it from sheena nasraty during one winter night.

so what causes an individual to drunk text and drunk call a person that they normally wouldn’t if alcohol were not present? does drinking really give an individual more confidence? or is alcohol an excuse for our mistakes? i’ll admit it, i’ve been a victim to drunk calling and drunk calls. in all honesty, the consumption of alcohol does indeed give an individual, as my self, a boost of confidence before we go into the war. i know what you’re thinking. you’re just making excuses, you’re weak, and my favorite, you need to move on. LOL. anyways, i have never been drunk to a point where i completely blacked out and did not remember anything that happened the night before. okay, maybe once. but all the times i’ve drunk call someone, i am still conciously aware that i am intending to do it. i know that it’s not going to be a pleseant conversation because she (i don’t call guys when i’m drunk) is going to quickly realize that this call is nothing more than someone spilling their heart out with no memory of it tomorrow morning. coming back to my question, why do we do it even though it might ruin everything all together? why do we take the chances? the reason is simple. to spill our hearts and say every last thing that we can squeeze into the other persons mind before they complete forget about us. to say something that we normally wouldn’t say if we were sober because being drunk does two things; it either makes an individual so happy they can’t stop smiling or makes an individual so miserable that they start contemplating why life is so horrible. the drunk calls can go a few different ways as well. one, the call can be from one person to another about a break up and why they need to be back together. two, a person wants to tell another person they like them. three, a person is telling another person that they are not happy with the relationship and should break up. four, BOOTY CALL! i’m not going to encourage someone to drunk call another person but i’m not going to stop someone if they want to do it. everything happens for a reason, if the drunk call was meant to be then it was meant to be. in my final words, i just want to share something…when she drunk called/text me, i’m not going to lie, it made me pretty happy. drunk call is better than no call right? maybe :]

to my people, anbao_luu